


A Cask of Faygo

by SkeletalCapricorn



Series: Nightmarestuck [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Insanity, Other, Psychological Horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-11 01:02:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12311562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkeletalCapricorn/pseuds/SkeletalCapricorn
Summary: It's Edgar Allan Poe's "A Cask of Amontillado" but with Homestuck characters.  Happy Halloween. :o)





	A Cask of Faygo

# A Cask of Faygo 

Hello brother. ABOUT TIME YA GOT HERE. not sure why I brought you here. BUT I'VE GOT A STORY TO TELL. something I've got to tell get off my chest.

I'm sure you've heard of Orphaner Dualscar. HE'S A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE. a real motherfucking treasure. HE'S LOYAL, SMART, AND ALL KINDS OF FRIENDLY. but the problem with him was is that he was HORRIBLY UNFUNNY. I first noticed back when he was complaining about Mindfang. HE WAS STIRRING UP A RAGE REAL NASTY. and he just wouldn't chill. WOULDN'T LOOK AT THE FUNNY SIDE. so I asked him to tell me a joke. THEY WERE ALL HORRIBLE. not a single laugh to be had. SO I DECIDED TO MOTHERFUCKING SHOW HIM WHAT A REAL JOKE LOOKS LIKE.

few weeks later I threw a party. AND THERE WAS PLENTY OF DRINKS TO BE HAD. and he had had enough to start slurring and stumbling like a troll leaking paint. SO I WENT UP AND TOLD HIM THAT I HAS PURCHASED A REALLY RARE BOTTLE OF FAYGO. and his face light up like the messiahs' had given him a revelation. HE ASKED ME TO TAKE HIM TO IT AND SO I DID. 

I took him to my castle where the bones of my previous punchlines lay resting. SOMETHING WEIRD I'D NOTICED WAS THAT IF YOU MADE A TROLL LAUGH TO HARD THEY STOPPED AND NEVER WOKE UP. it's the strangest thing to see. SOON WE REACHED THE END OF THE HALL AND CAME TO THE ROOM WHERE THE FAYGO LIED. or was supposed to. AND AS HE STUMBLED AROUND TRYING TO LOCATE THE FICTION MIRACLE I UP AND CHAINED HIM TO A WALL. brother didn't even notice. AND WHEN HE TRIED TO WALK AWAY AND FOUND HIMSELF STUCK HE WAS ALL LIKE "WHAT! WHAT'D YOU DO!" AND SO I SAID "you know it's getting a little cold in here. I SHOULD KEEP OUT THE DRAFT FOR YOU." and he went ballistic. SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT HIS SENSE OF HUMOR BUT WHEN A JOKE IS PLAYED ON HIM HE GOES WITH IT WITH ALL THAT HE'S GOT. he was screaming and crying all the way as I walled up the exit. UNTIL I GOT TO THE LAST BRICK WHEN HE JUST STOPPED. rude. IT'S LIKE WE WEREN'T EVEN FRIENDS ANYMORE OR SOMETHING. and so I slid the last brick into place. AND HE'S BEEN THERE FOR FIFTY SWEEPS. doesn't talk to me much anymore though, wonder why.


End file.
